Let’s see:
Cars should be fitted with speed limit enforcers as ‘they’ know where you are!
All telephone, internet and e-mail communications should be collected for national security!
Oh yes, as the government can’t be trusted with our data, a private company will do it.
The police operated ‘number plate recognition system’ will follow you wherever you go.
The council operated CCTV will follow you wherever you go.
Your rubbish will be carefully weighed and inspected in case you don’t conform to imposed limits on waste.
Our local A&E dept was closed and the nearest replacement is surprised that a combination of cold weather and winter increases the demand for health services.
Terrorists will be required to carry an ID card at all times.
You will need an ID card to obtain government services - in an emergency, tough!
Digital radio will be enforced upon us as FM quality is too good.
Digital television will be enforced upon us, as the shopping channels can’t get enough money from us at the moment.
Good television programmes will be spread over a larger number of ‘platforms’ - at a cost.
Financial organisations will be allowed to do as they like ‘as they are essential for the governments well being’.
Anyone foolish enough to actually save for a rainy day will be punished and taxed when you obtain it (earn/given), as you save it (unearned income) or spend it (VAT).
Global warming should ensure nice sunny and warm summers - for a change!
Transport costs will increase, as not enough residents either actually have a job or afford to travel to work to cover the cost.

Have you been up to the Hemel ‘industrial ‘ estate recently. The Borough Council are now asking the few employers left if they would like to pay a levy to improve the area.

More to follow or perhaps you have more suggestions - let me know!

Town Centre?
The other day, I was coming back from doing our weekly shop at one of the supermarkets in Hemel, when I suddenly asked myself why I was doing it. I always used to shop in the town and used the market, so what has changed?
It’s a combination of things. In an hour, I can travel there, park for free, buy a wide range of groceries, fill up with petrol and back home. You just can’t do this in Berkhamsted. Having said that, I’ve noticed far less traffic on the roads so far this year, although our town seems unaffected, traffic wise, so far.

So what would attract me back to a touch of retail therapy in the town?

It has to be the improvement in parking. I have the disadvantage of also working in the town, but most parking is taken up by vehicles left all day. Whenever there is a train problem or the main private school is on holiday, it’s absolute bliss. These all day parkers fill every little nook and cranny by blocking corners, footways (footpaths alongside the highway) and car parks. If the existing laws were actually enforced, it would make such a difference. The BCA has already been getting complaints about parking on the verge at Gossoms End, which rarely happened before the recent development. Naturally, it’s illegal, but the County council answer is to install bollards - one day!

Are you sitting comfortably?
That's good, as I have some news that will make you need to sit or fall down.
Remember I went to the 'stakeholders' meeting to decide the facilities we wants in our new General Hospital last July and we were told that another meeting would be called in October for us to choose from 3 locations that met the criteria that was agreed. Do you also remember that that October meeting didn't happen, but I heard that it would be in January? Funnily enough, that didn't happen either, but another rumour indicates that the existing site in Hillfield Road was one of the three locations and the Trust will decide in March. Just don't hold your breath while sitting down!

Meanwhile, I've been doing some remedial electrical works at St. Lawrence's Church in Nettleden and I thought I would tell you a little about it.
The present building dates from 1470, although there has been a church on the site since at least 1285 and was a chapel-of ease within the Parish of Pitstone. In 1811, at the same time as Ashridge House was being rebuilt, the Earl of Bridgewater paid for the chancel and north wall to be rebuilt and at the same time the porch was moved to the north site from the south side.

No church is complete without bells and the flint tower houses three, two of them both ancient and rare. The oldest dates from 1478 and is only one of eight Thomas Harrys in the country, the next oldest dates from1636 and made by Richard Chandler (just three now remain) and the youngster was made by George Chandler in 1714 and carries a dedication to St. Lawrence.

The pews are Canadian Oak and date from 1887 and the pulpit is a memorial to the Churchs' Victorian vicar, poet and artist Revd. George Spencer Cautley. Outside (to the right of the porch) lies a stone coffin dating back to the 14thC, which was found 2ft beneath the west wall of the churchyard when it was rebuilt in 1930. The yew tree behind the church is recorded as being 620 years old.

If you are walking in the area, it's worth having a look, although it's normally locked (sign of the times, I'm afraid), but the churchwarden lives at Nettleden Farm (about 100 yards up Roman Lane, same side as church) and I know several villagers have a key or would know who does, so it's worth a knock. Inside there is a wealth of history and a decent guide. They even have converted oil to electric lighting in the aisle! There are plans to use the church for more community minded activities, but essentials like water, toilet(s) and better heating need money, so go and soak up a little history and make a donation whilst you are at it.

On a personal note, my wife has just had cataracts removed from both eyes and if you think you might need the operation but are worried, don't be. The world changes and she says she can see better than ever – please can I have the old model back as she's driving me nuts peering into everything!